I don’t want to live my life

I don’t even want to try

They gave me rules

They gave me goals

And I followed all the rules

In such a way that all the goals might one day be achieved

 

But now the game has changed

Eithere there are no rules to follow now or I don’t know what they are

And the goals they gave me have dissolved and nothing now remains

 

So I won’t do what they expect

I hate the very idea

Precisely because it’s what’s expected of me

 

So the life I was trying to live is gone

And I’m left here alone

No path

No guide

No hope

No future

No desires but day to day searches for truth and meaning

Hoping that extended into months and years they may yet make some kind of sense

Although I don’t believe

 

I don’t want to live my life

I don’t want to live

Not because life has lost all meaning

But because the old meanings are now meaningless and I don’t know with what I may replace them

Nor even where to look for such a thing

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